This candle

Posted by on Oct 14, 2019 in Abso-effing-lutely, Ipso Fabulous, My Style | No Comments

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I need this and so do you. Get it here >>

Just bought this book and so should you

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Just bought this book by Michelle Rial and so should you.

*actually I bought 2

To know something by heart

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Or… How To Give A Great TED Talk.

According to Seth Godin:

The spread of TED talks means that more and more people are being put on stage and told to memorize their talk. This almost always leads to failure.

Watch a great performance and you’ll see no artifacts of memorization. Instead, you will see someone speaking from the heart.

This is what it means to know something by heart. Memorizing the words is half of it. And woefully insufficient.

My suggestion: Don’t memorize your talk. Memorize your stories. Ten stories make a talk. Write yourself a simple cue card to remember each story’s name. Then tell us ten stories. Be you.

We didn’t come to hear your words. If that’s all we wanted, we could have read the memo and saved a ton of time.

Bring your heart.

Don’t pee in the pool

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The always insightful Seth Godin writes:

For generations, people dumped crap into the Hudson River. The river was so large and so swift that they assumed that the effluent wouldn’t come back to haunt them.

Of course, it did, killing the oyster beds and poisoning the public.

How big does a body of water have to be before we forget that we’re swimming in it? That it all comes around…

Why are we are okay at yelling at a stranger, but not our neighbor? We will abuse the department in the other building, but not down the hall…

It turns out that the pool/river/tub that we live in is far smaller than it seems. The culture of the place we work, the vibe of the community where we live. It’s all more connected than we realize.

Photo by Shazmyn Ali on Unsplash

Bees: The quintessential collaborator

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Bees are the quintessential collaborators, strong and focused.

 

Photo by Mladen Borisov on Unsplash

The case against the “Friend Argument”

Posted by on Jun 28, 2019 in Abso-effing-lutely, Ipso Fabulous, My Style | No Comments

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I’m not a murderer; some of my best friends are alive.
—Sean Lock

Having a friend who belongs to a demographic that one hates isn’t incompatible with a prejudice against that demographic – and this is the key to the fallacy. A prejudice, is by its etymology a “pre-judgement” of someone, based on more general information that may not necessarily apply to an individual.

This can be a relatively benign conclusion (“he’s a gay man, he must like fashion”) or it can be the considerably more negative (“he’s a black man, he’s going to stab me”). However, once some has actually gotten beyond the stage of judging someone on prior knowledge, they can change their mind about that individual.

In many cases, this might overturn the prejudice entirely but in the case of people using the friend argument, it has only overturned the prejudice against one individual, or maybe a few more. The prejudice, the pre-judgement against a group of people, still stands. This is why saying you have a friend in one particular demographic doesn’t excuse racism, homophobia or other prejudice; you can’t have a pre-judgement about someone you already know, but you can still maintain your pre-judgement against people you haven’t met.

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